Sara Walch and her son Connor
We live in a world where families are separated by distance: some are voluntary, some are not. Some distances are small; some distances are thousands and thousands of miles. Whatever the case may be, you don’t realize how far the distance is until you have a child in a town where you don’t know very many people….and realize you are all alone.
I am no different. I grew up in New Jersey, and that is where my entire family still lives. Seven years ago, I moved to California (to have some youthful fun in the sun ☺ ), and I never really thought about whether I would stay 3,000 miles away from my family and friends, or if I would go back. Soon after I moved there, however, the choice was made for me when I met the man who would be my husband. After three years there, we moved here to Spokane and two and half years later I was pregnant.
Even though we had lived here for almost three years by the time my son, Connor, was born, I still did not have any close friends. We had hired a doula for my labor and delivery who also did some post-partum work, and she was the key element in my surviving motherhood. Xylina Weaver is an excellent doula, and did all she said she would and more. In addition to her work as a doula, childbirth educator, and a lactation educator, she is a volunteer with the Sacred Heart Mother-Baby group. She obviously told me about the group and encouraged me to go as soon as I felt able. It took me three weeks to get there, but I truly don’t know what I would have done without it.
Sacred Heart Mother Baby Time
During those first few months, it was absolutely essential for me to go. I clearly remember not going one week, and having my husband come home to find me in even more of an emotional state than usual. The only thing he said as he came to give me a hug is, “you didn’t make it to mommy group today did you? What can I do to make sure that never happens again?” He could see how important it was for my mental well being to go every week (barring any illnesses, of course). And I am so happy that I did.
I went from being a new mother riding the waves of post-partum hormones by myself to being a new mother riding the waves of post-partum hormones with a crew of people in my boat. There is something so profoundly comforting about going to a group of people who are just as scared as you.
Group facilitators Xylina Weaver and Bethany Seimers
In the Mother-Baby group I found comfort in knowing I wasn’t the only one completely over-thinking everything I did, in knowing that I wasn’t the only one who thought breast-feeding was not always all it was cracked up to be (but was still so very, very worth it), in knowing that I could cry over absolutely nothing and that everyone there would understand. There is something so soothing about seeing mothers with older babies look at you with compassion and understanding and tell you that it really will not always be this way. And there is absolutely no way to describe the relief of having registered nurses facilitating the group who are so happy to answer all of your weird medical questions (“are you sure his toe is supposed to look like that? Because it just looks a little funny to me…..), or to just tell you that your baby looks amazingly healthy, and to take a deep breath and not worry too much about it. Or, and this may be the best feeling, the realization that suddenly, you have friends.
I love knowing that if I need someone to talk to; I don’t need to worry what time it is where they live, I can just call them. I have people who understand where I’m at in my life because they are there too. I finally, FINALLY, have people that I can hang out with and relate to, and I have so loved watching our babies grow together as we meet each week.
Sacred Heart Mother-Baby Time
A support group for moms with new babies, meeting every Wednesday from 10:00-11:30 a.m.
Location: Main Floor, Avista Classroom or Children’s Hospital – 4th Floor Classroom
Address: 101 W 8th Ave, Spokane, WA 99204
Phone: (509) 474-2400